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What's wrong with a little destruction?


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Untitled B/J ficlet (WARNING: contains spoilers for S5)
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Very short, because I only get inspired twice a year and for about five minutes each time.

Many, many thanks to vedaprophet for beta'ing. ♥

“You can hold onto something so tight
You've already lost it”


Locks, figurative locks, don't work on people. They’re just a big pile of bullshit. Brian came to that conclusion days after he and Justin had decided to get as locked in as two gay guys could possibly get. The “old Brian”, as Justin had taken to calling his pre-Babylon bombing incarnation, was always saying that there were no locks on their doors. Truth is, no matter what, there never really would be. Justin could still walk away and no ring, no commitment, no promise was going to stop him.

Any day now. Any day now I won't be enough. My body, the sex we have, the words I've slowly and painfully forced out won't be enough to keep you here. Someone else will come along who’ll look better or fit better. Who wouldn’t wait until nearly losing you to finally make you feel loved.

Maybe it wouldn’t even take anyone else. One day, Justin would simply get tired of his insecurities -- because, as usual, he’d know exactly what was on Brian’s mind -- and leave because of that.

You just can’t win, can you Kinney?

He laughed to himself thinking that not even the explosion, the fire and the paralyzing fear had been enough to exorcise all of his demons. Justin stirred in his sleep and whispered Brian’s name, a slight smile on his lips, his arm falling heavily across Brian‘s chest.

Yeah, you’ll leave someday, but tonight you’re still mine.

Brian gently claimed Justin from the arms of sleep and into his own, as if for the last time. It always felt like the last time.

The lyrics at the beginning are from U2's song "Dirty Day".

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lovely sweetie. gah. so beautifully bittersweet. oh brian. *sighs*

Oh, very nice. You have nothing to be anxious about. I loved your nervous and insecure Brian. It hurt to read him. Silly Brian, I don't think Justin could ever leave you for good. Someone needs to explain this to him.

Thanks! I'm just always anxious when I post stuff I write. *shrugs*

Lovely. The last line was so good. You're a talented writer. :D

omg, it always felt like the last time.

Junie, that line is unbelievable and so fucking true.

*dead*

frame that line. write a song about it. make a bumper sticker. jeesh.

Aww, thanks Plum. But you can't die! Not until you write epilogue # 2. :p

Excellentness. Seriously. I feel Brian's very Brian-y pain. You articulated it really well.

Short or not, this is quality.

*save to memories*

Thanks for your feedback. You are too kind! :)

I friended you and found this! Brian's conflict around feeling too much for Justin is fodder for great stories - and this is one of them!

Thank you so much! *friends back* :)

*sobs* very beautifully written honey!!

Aww! *passes the kleenex* Thank you sweetie!

Dammit, Junie... I wish I could read this! But you make it challenging for me, since I'm still *technically* a spo virgin. :(( Life hardest! Remind me when I'm spoiled/season's over/whichever comes first that I need to read it, k? Thanks.

LOL! Wow, you've remained strong! You deserve a badge of honor girl. Thanks for the interest Lucie, I'll remind you. :)

Oh God, the angst! =(( And yet so sweet at the same time... Poor insecure Brian!
Loved it! ♥

Thank you Sandra! I'm glad you enjoyed it.

Thanks! It's so nice to get feedback for things I wrote so long ago. :D

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